No signs will be given

One night while I was so busy being paranoid, I decided to read the bible. I asked God for a sign. I ask if He want me to become His shepherd. I started by randomly selecting a page from the scriptures using the tip of my fingers. When I stopped and opened the page I picked, I was surprised. It was Mathew 16: 1-4 and the title was, “No signs will be given”. This strucked me and I paused for a moment and decided to read some simple explanation because I was confused. It told me to refer to Luke 12: 54-56, they have the same title and almost similar verses. Again, I randomly picked a page from the bible and when I opened it was a passage from the Gospel of Mark. It has the same title but its verses were elaborated. I reflected and read it between the lines. With my own understanding, the scriptures tells me not to ask for signs. If everything will be based on signs our lives will be meaningless. Having faith is more than a sign. We will not need God in our lives if we live with signs. Uncertainties in life make us human. If everything is constant, our heart and mind will be stagnant. We all need to make choices based on our conscience, knowledge and discernment. Therefore, signs are not necessary. For as long we make decisions with God everything will go the right way. Sometimes, we don't need to ask for signs. It just happens, its like a visitor knocking outside the door, when we least expect it.  

Am I called by Him?

Being born from a country of predominantly Catholics and in a devout Christian family, I was exposed to the teachings and tradition of the Catholicism. I was enrolled in a Catholic School when I was 3 years old until I earned a degree in Nursing. I was taught by my teachers’ salient points of the Catholic belief. My school educated me the fundamentals of Christianity and knowledge for life as well.

My grandmother was one of the greatest contributors in my knowledge about my faith. She tells me bible stories before I sleep and at the end teach me the morals of each story. Those where the things that I will never forget in my life, as a disciple of Christ. While my mother was the one who exposed me with the different Church traditions; attending the holy mass, participating in processions, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, saint veneration and etc.

Our life’s experience is God’s way of talking to us. Trials and obstacles are given to us to test our faith and loyalty to Him. I have experienced a lot in my existence as a person. I have faced a lot of challenges in my family, peers, and community. But with this, I have encountered Him in unanswered prayers, in times of despair and moments of solitude. I can feel His presence with people around me. One day, I awakened and felt a calling.

“Restless is my heart, ‘till it rest in thee”. These are the exact words that could define my experience. I am restless to seek for love, happiness and contentment. I tried to look for it but I never had inner peace. Happiness was just a temporary feeling. I never found contentment even I chose to have it. I never found that inner peace in my friends, loved ones and even with my family.
But when I started to discern about entering the religious life, it became so light.

I have met and knew a lot of clergy. Each of them has touched my life in one way or another. I see a priest/ nun as divine individuals sent by God to nurture and guide His people towards eternal happiness with Him. On the other hand, they act as a social conscience in this world threatened by evil. Priest’s presence makes me secured and feels that God truly is with us.

Am I really called by God to serve Him and His people?